Chuck Norris protects this bakery

DO NOT PARK HERE - Noone will talk to you at parties

DO NOT ENTER - If the fall does not kill you, the crocodile will

Win a FREE ride in a Police Car just by shoplifting from this store

WARNING! If the help desk thinks your question is stupid, we will set you on fire

The last car that parked here is still missing

ASTON MATIN PARKING ONLY - All others will be crushed

No parking outside this gate. My mother in law steals cars

DANGER - Anti climbing device - Treated with Anthrax and a dose of British sense of humour

thou shalt not steal